Old lady perfume

What do women see in it? I walked past a woman smelling of it this morning, and it just reminds me of mouldy lavender.

What's wrong with a fragrance that's slightly more up-to-date?

Perhaps this isn't a smell that old people spray themselves with. Maybe when you get past the menopause, you instantly start emitting it.

Old women try to mask it with stronger fragrances, but the old lady smell keeps coming out.

As they get older, the smell fades, and is replaced by the smell of old mothballs.

That's it, I've concluded. It's not their fault, they just smell weird.

Human Homing Missiles

You're walking down the street, and you can see that on this thin strip of pavement, evasive maneuvers are required. You engage, and are mirrored exactly by the person approaching you. Eventually, you're brought to a standstill while one of you works out what's required to get past the other with lots of exasperated apologies.

The reason for this seems to be that both people have the same evasive co-ordinates plotted in their brains, and when the other person mirrors them, you automatically assume that the other person will remain on this course, so alter yours. Their alterations are the same, and as a result you are stuck in stalemate.

Let me solve this problem for you. Head straight on. Don't alter your course, and increase the probability of the other person trying something different.

Happy evasion.

Welcome back

The majority of the population are today waving goodbye to the Christmas period, and saying hello to full working weeks once again.

Some have taken holiday over the Christmas period, others have had their offices closed by default. Some have taken no holiday whatsoever. One way or another, you're likely to be heading back either this week or next week.

What I'm looking to comment on is how people can call a sicky today?!

In some rare cases, I can see a sick day being required. One of my colleagues contracted a flu virus over the Christmas period, but was back for work, so I can understand how this can happen. But surely employers must be getting a little bit suspicious when the majority of their work force doesn't turn up because of a bit of a runny nose / sore throat / other ailment?

This has to be a bit of a lame excuse. I got to work faster than usual today due to the fact that there was zero traffic on the roads. It usually takes me twenty minutes to join the motorway.

Today took two and a half.

Factor out those still on holiday, and I refuse to believe that all of them have no holiday during the year.

While I'm at it, how much holiday do all these people get? School half-term? Traffic greatly reduced. Mid-Summer holidays in Benedorm? Horrendous. Traffic at home is greatly reduced. Christmas? Nothing on the road for weeks.

Skiving gits.