Comedy Musical Timing

When popping into the loos at work today, I had my MP3 player on, and my playlist had Marilyn Manson's rendition of Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics.

As I left the toilet, I was humming along, and went to wash my hands.

There's a bit in the song that goes:

"Some of them want to abuse you; some of them want to be abused".

Where abused is screamed by Mr Manson.

Humming turned to muffled singing, as I lathered up my hands blissfully aware that I'd turned on the volcanic tap instead of the cold one.

So on I sang...

"Some of them want to abuse you; some of them want to be.....".

I put my hands under the tap that has releases water at boiling point, and I let out the girliest scream I've heard myself use in quite some time.

"AbuuusaaaahhhahahahahahhhhHHhahahaowwww!"

Big girl's blouse, I know.

Big hair at gigs

Burn them.

Whatever they use to get that ridiculously big hair that big must be flammable.

They're always 6'9" tall, they've always got hair that's taller than the North face of the Eiger, and they're always stood in front of you. In fact, most of them are quite near the front, despite their ability to see everything perfectly well from the back.

What's the solution? Set their hair on fire. Burn their obstructive locks. They'll soon move out of the way.

What could possibly go wrong?