The morning pee
It's one of those things cherished by man since time began. I myself feel like my day has begun after dragging my knuckles in a caveman-like fashion into the cold tiled floor of the bathroom and expelling some urine.
The trouble with the morning pee is that it's inevitably strong, and by the time you're finished the toilet bowl is an entirely different colour to when you started. Bright yellow / orange is not uncommon.
It was only last Saturday that I indulged in the usual past-time of going for the morning pee, and in the usual fashion (Ladies may or may not be aware of this, and dudes may or may not do it) I grab a bit of toilet paper to ensure a dry appendage and prevent cough leakage. cough
Unfortunately, today's morning pee was to be anything but routine. I finished the pee, and reached for the toilet paper as I do every other morning, except that this morning produced radically adverse results.
I knocked the toilet paper without actually picking it up.
The roll isn't a full roll, but it's got a fair bit of paper left on it, and it'll go for the rest of the weekend between a family of five.
It's tilting forward, and all I can do is watch utterly dumbstruck and numb as the toilet paper teeters over the edge of the cistern, and tilts toward the edge.
I watch in slow motion as the roll falls from the cistern and bounces around the toilet seat, almost teasing me. It circles the toilet seat before rolling off of the seat, and into the bright yellow / orange bowl.
A conscious look of horror engulfs my face as I realise what is taking place.
I am given an ultimatum.
I can either reach in and get it now, or I can watch it disintegrate and block up the toilet, causing even worse results.
The choice is a simple one. I reach into the urine-infested toilet and drag out the (now yellow) toilet paper, rinse it under the sink to rinse it off, dump it in a bin-bag, and take it outside.
A loo roll, and my confident ability to flush out the morning pee are now both dead.
Sometimes you just know that your day isn't going to work out.
The trouble with the morning pee is that it's inevitably strong, and by the time you're finished the toilet bowl is an entirely different colour to when you started. Bright yellow / orange is not uncommon.
It was only last Saturday that I indulged in the usual past-time of going for the morning pee, and in the usual fashion (Ladies may or may not be aware of this, and dudes may or may not do it) I grab a bit of toilet paper to ensure a dry appendage and prevent cough leakage. cough
Unfortunately, today's morning pee was to be anything but routine. I finished the pee, and reached for the toilet paper as I do every other morning, except that this morning produced radically adverse results.
I knocked the toilet paper without actually picking it up.
The roll isn't a full roll, but it's got a fair bit of paper left on it, and it'll go for the rest of the weekend between a family of five.
It's tilting forward, and all I can do is watch utterly dumbstruck and numb as the toilet paper teeters over the edge of the cistern, and tilts toward the edge.
I watch in slow motion as the roll falls from the cistern and bounces around the toilet seat, almost teasing me. It circles the toilet seat before rolling off of the seat, and into the bright yellow / orange bowl.
A conscious look of horror engulfs my face as I realise what is taking place.
I am given an ultimatum.
I can either reach in and get it now, or I can watch it disintegrate and block up the toilet, causing even worse results.
The choice is a simple one. I reach into the urine-infested toilet and drag out the (now yellow) toilet paper, rinse it under the sink to rinse it off, dump it in a bin-bag, and take it outside.
A loo roll, and my confident ability to flush out the morning pee are now both dead.
Sometimes you just know that your day isn't going to work out.
Labels: drop, morning, pee, toilet, toilet roll, toilet seat
posted by Karl at
8:26 am
|
6 comments
