A brief pondering

Jesus H Christ


Often exclaimed at the top of one's voice when something exceptional happens that warrants the addition of our Lord's* middle name first initial.

So what does it really mean? Howard? Horatio? Horace?

I think it was deliberately omitted from the Bible because whatever his middle name was, it wasn't holy enough to warrant inclusion.

Plus "J.C" is much catchier than "JHC". That just sounds like a narcotic.

Allow me to paint the picture:

Peter: Jesus, I think we need to talk about this book we're writing.
Jesus: Sure. 'sup?
P: I think we should maybe.. I dunno how you feel about this, but.. Omit your middle name from our teachings.
J: Why? It's a cool middle name, isn't it?
P: Well it is at the moment, but you know how these trends go in and out of fashion.. Right now we're all in robes, but do you remember that fig leaf thing?
J: Oh yeah. I can't believe my Dad introduced that. It's twice as bad as a-line flares.
P: What?
J: Nothing. I'll tell you later. Anyway, I guess you're right. Maybe it's cool now, but it probably won't be in a few millenia when people are tripping over it, and my followers are getting picked on by all the other religions for having a pants middle name.

And so it came to pass that Jesus' middle name was omitted from the Bible.

Okay, maybe not. But it'd be cool though.

* Not my lord, but he's obviously somebody's.