Just twenty more pence...
It really irritates me that walking along the streets of Bristol can leave the average Good Samaritan utterly penniless.
Walking along any particular road in the centre can see a person accosted by a sea of chuggers who'll chase you to the very ends of the earth armed with a clipboard, a splash of emotional blackmail and in only a matter of time, your credit card number.
But what irritates me the most are the people who take advantage of the weak-willed and charitable people only to use it for their own ends.
And so the "just twenty more pence" merchant is born.
A poorly dressed and obviously down-and-out person will approach you in these scenarios and something along the lines of what follows will be what comes out of their decayed mouths.
"Hello sir first of all can I say thanks for stopping because nobody hardly ever stops and I've been walking around this place for hours trying to get somebody to stop to see if they can help me and then you came along and stopped and I'm really appreciative I'm stuck in Bristol because I've just been to the hospital to be treated for a burn (shows an old healed burn) and it's caused me no end of problems and they gave me a prescription that I had to buy straight away which has taken away my bus fare and I only need £1.25 to get the bus back home because it's too far to walk because I live in Cardiff and that's a long way away and I'm so close so do you think you could spare any change?"
Not a single point of grammar to illustrate the point that you get all of this flung at you at 100 miles per hour with no respite. The goal is to heighten your sense of guilt that you should really help this person out, and at the same time to get this person out of your face by flinging change at them.
Like a sucker, I gave this chap 50p some two years ago, and off he went full of thanks and with a grateful tune in his voice. I had done a good deed, so I was happy.
Two years down the line, I'm walking down the same street when lo-and-behold, the same person's just trying to get bus-fair back. I'd recognise that healed burn anywhere as I observe him plying his trade to some poor middle-aged woman fishing around in her purse trying everything possible to escape with as minimal damage as possible.
I had my headphones in and was walking at a brisk pace, so saw him finish his business at a pace before catching up with me. He walked briskly alongside me for ten seconds or so vying for my attention before I finally turned my head and saw his toothless smile aimed at me.
I smiled back and walked on. Get in there. Justice. Some small amusement for him taking my 50p some two years ago. But what I saw next actually disturbed me a bit. I've seen a lot of zombie films and it's always disturbed me that as soon as they saw a better piece of human, they break away and attack them instead.
That's exactly how it happened. He broke away from me in a complete change of direction and went for another middle-aged woman, the demographic of whom he obviously seems to have better luck with.
Whether it goes on Carlsberg Special Brew or something stronger, I'm not that interested.
I've now tasted quite a lot of the bad in people and ain't nice.
Walking along any particular road in the centre can see a person accosted by a sea of chuggers who'll chase you to the very ends of the earth armed with a clipboard, a splash of emotional blackmail and in only a matter of time, your credit card number.
But what irritates me the most are the people who take advantage of the weak-willed and charitable people only to use it for their own ends.
And so the "just twenty more pence" merchant is born.
A poorly dressed and obviously down-and-out person will approach you in these scenarios and something along the lines of what follows will be what comes out of their decayed mouths.
"Hello sir first of all can I say thanks for stopping because nobody hardly ever stops and I've been walking around this place for hours trying to get somebody to stop to see if they can help me and then you came along and stopped and I'm really appreciative I'm stuck in Bristol because I've just been to the hospital to be treated for a burn (shows an old healed burn) and it's caused me no end of problems and they gave me a prescription that I had to buy straight away which has taken away my bus fare and I only need £1.25 to get the bus back home because it's too far to walk because I live in Cardiff and that's a long way away and I'm so close so do you think you could spare any change?"
Not a single point of grammar to illustrate the point that you get all of this flung at you at 100 miles per hour with no respite. The goal is to heighten your sense of guilt that you should really help this person out, and at the same time to get this person out of your face by flinging change at them.
Like a sucker, I gave this chap 50p some two years ago, and off he went full of thanks and with a grateful tune in his voice. I had done a good deed, so I was happy.
Two years down the line, I'm walking down the same street when lo-and-behold, the same person's just trying to get bus-fair back. I'd recognise that healed burn anywhere as I observe him plying his trade to some poor middle-aged woman fishing around in her purse trying everything possible to escape with as minimal damage as possible.
I had my headphones in and was walking at a brisk pace, so saw him finish his business at a pace before catching up with me. He walked briskly alongside me for ten seconds or so vying for my attention before I finally turned my head and saw his toothless smile aimed at me.
I smiled back and walked on. Get in there. Justice. Some small amusement for him taking my 50p some two years ago. But what I saw next actually disturbed me a bit. I've seen a lot of zombie films and it's always disturbed me that as soon as they saw a better piece of human, they break away and attack them instead.
That's exactly how it happened. He broke away from me in a complete change of direction and went for another middle-aged woman, the demographic of whom he obviously seems to have better luck with.
Whether it goes on Carlsberg Special Brew or something stronger, I'm not that interested.
I've now tasted quite a lot of the bad in people and ain't nice.
Labels: flesh, homeless, just, more, peel, pence, twenty, zombies
posted by Karl at
7:55 am
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