Oxford Street, London.

Okay, everybody likes to look handsome or pretty, and everybody likes to feel like they belong. Those who are confident enough want to feel attractive and watched by lots of eyes in a way that makes them feel envied.

But what Oxford Street is full of is a bunch of pretentious tossers.

The things I saw walking down that street on Saturday made me feel particularly intelligent.

For those of you who've seen Nathan Barley, you'll probably know what sort of person I'm talking about.

The sort of person who smokes a cigarette because it makes them feel cool instead of enjoying the taste or feeling it's supposed to supply.

The sort of person who looks down at other people and makes themselves feel better as a result, and damnit, they're so much better at it than me!